Happy Birthday Nathan: Forever 16

It’s not fair to you or any other child and family having to go through this, childhood cancer is a relentless disease and what it steals form the child is something that can never be regained back, and what childhood cancer stole from your friends and us, your family; your parents and your older brother is absolutely devastating and cruel. You left us for a better place, to gain a new body and become whole again. I do not con20170227_141421sider this loosing to cancer I consider this as you winning eternal freedom and glory; although we suffer and hurt deeply from your loss, I find a piece of comfort knowing that your not suffering and that you didn’t. What you didn’t have a chance to learn as didn’t many others either is, Thursday night Jan. 4th I spoke with your Dr. and learned from your BMB that you had been diagnosed with full t-AML, a third cancer that again had no treatment for you but plan C and that was to only calm it from exploding throughout your body to help ease things, but t-AML after going through osteosarcoma 2x and t-MDS 2x with a BMT would have been unforgiving, and for that I am grateful God spared you from all that but non the less I, WE ALL miss you horribly, every second, minute, and hour of every day.

Today February 27, 2018 I will celebrate your birthday as I know you would want, this is  the day God gave you to me, although for a short time, it was a time of much joy and beautiful memories; a time I’ll/we’ll never forget, a time yet again God answered my prayers, a prayer for another child. I couldn’t have done all this without God by my side and many will wonder how I can feel that way with all you went through and then loosing you, but if many knew the truth that I was to have no more children when I did have you they may understand a bit better what a true miracle you were from the very beginning. I will/am shed many tears and many will flow like the many falls we hiked to, but I know in my heart you are free and in the land of the unimaginable, whole, not sick and complete again; you are alive in my heart and mind and with me in everything I do. I can feel the peace you have at last and all your dreams and desires to make a difference and be there for other children and families, it will all continue to get carried on, you created a legacy Nathan and I promise you, everything you went through and endured will not be in vein; there are many things to be learned from whether it be medically, personally, humanity, and/or just life; many will learn and grow from you as a person, there will forever be “Nathans Story”.

Forever 16, I love you my son… We WILL be together again <3

I will Never Give UP !    #13  #RIPmyultimatewarrior

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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It Continues On… “ENDLESS”

Novenber 24, 2017

Nathan had some great months in between my last update, he got back on the ice for Sled hockey, Dr pulled his line so he could attend classes with his friends; all was going well, slow but well as it should be for a now 16 year old who has battled cancer for 7 years/3 times and 2 different types of cancers; one would have thought that was the way it should happen, after all that including a Haplo BMT, and a successful one at that with 100% donor(Dad) cells, you’d think whewww it’s over, road to recovery; nice and easy does it and let that kiddo live some life as he should…

Not how it happens in the real world, the world of childhood cancer tends to throw more curve balls then a game of baseball. Nathan’s labs fell pretty suddenly 3 weeks, oppps now 4 weeks ago and naturally everything was going to plan with him and his Haplo, no one expected a relapse; Nathan had all the indicators of no relapse except the labs, he has all donor cells, active GvHD of several forms, and the last BMB there was 0 blasts seen; so as it went Nathan’s labs were not making a come back, so of course a BMB was scheduled and as it would turn out…

Nathan’s t-MDS/Leukemia has made itself known again…

As we looked at our 7 year anniversary in all this, original admission/dx Nov 18, 2010 and Nathan receiving his very first dose chemo on Nov 25, 2010 (was Thanksgiving Day then) we were hearing those words again. words no one, not anyone should have to hear one time let alone now for the 4th “YOUR SON HAS CANCER”  heartbroken, devastated, and NUMB is just a few feelings you have when you hear those words, some get angry, I honestly just don’t have the energy right now for anger nor much else for that matter right now.

Nathan’s situation is rare and unique, of course it couldn’t just be a easy fix, it’s very complicated, we are waiting for test result that are still out on the marrow right now with hopes that he don’t have all the markers he had prior to complicate things even more, there’s not really a treatment out there for Nathan, the transplant was his chance for a cure, but unfortunately the chemo in the process didn’t work well enough and sleeper cells were able to hide away. Nathan is not fully recovered from the transplant yet so his marrow is still in a weak state, which may cause some difficulties. We don’t have a plan of action yet as said above we need to get all the results back from his biopsies first…

I’ve written this post and posted/removed it many times in these past few days, but it’s just not changing the fact that Nathan, more then any other time is truly in the fight for his life. I’m asking you to please keep Nathan in prayers, he needs a miracle and I have to say I do believe in Miracles…

Thank you so much and God Bless!!!!

Nathan’s Mom, Dad and Brother

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WE have a timeline and a DONOR

 

It has been very busy since I last updated for Nathan and my family…

Nathan had completed his first round of “maintenance chemo” and did rather well considering it all, with mild chemo effects from what we’re use to, thankful for that most definitely, then he took some time off from treatment to recover only to begin another round with extended chemo from one and adding another treatment to it known as an “antibody” and now recovering from that infusion with an unsure as to using the remainder part of his cocktail. Nathan’s dx is a rare and complicated one yes people get MDS but senior citizens get MDS not children let alone it being a therapy induced dx with markers proving it to be even more rare and aggressive; difference between t-MDS and t-AML is literally a number of blasts in his cells/marrow; his treatments are that of t-AML because unlike the seniors who get this dx naturally and can live with it Nathan’s is not as such and will become full blown t-AML and that my friends is exactly what the Drs are hoping to prevent with his chemo cocktails. Nathan started his 2nd regiment with the injections, 3 at a time of chemo in his “fatty” tissue; yes exactly anyone that knows Nathan he has none of that and that’s just another problem he had is weight issues; needless to say Nathan is a very sore monkey right now black and blue all over but like the warrior he is he held in there and finished up. He then moved onto his infusion with the antibody (Mylotarg, GO); all went well till Nathan was done and about 55 mins later his body decided it didn’t like it and of course he reacted to it; I don’t need to go into all the details of his reaction but will say it wasn’t pleasant, was very scary moment for ALL, but thank God we were in the hospital at the time and the teams where able to counter it safely and Nathan is ok and doing great now. Antibodies are just that; foreign substance fusing through your body looking for what it’s suppose to attack and kill, hence the reaction; it is not uncommon for a reaction tis the reason we had him admitted for it, Nathan has proven all to many times he’s not the common side effect kiddo and we know to take the extra precautions with him, he likes to get those really odd 1 in a million side effects to his meds, hence his second cancer dx.

The Dr changed things around for Nathan so he could celebrate his 16th birthday; yup that’s right I said 16, so many of you have watched our lil boy grow these last 6yrs-4mos; from 9 to 16 and in those years he’s been to hell and back several times and this ride isn’t gonna be any different maybe even more challenging for us all involved. Which brings me to the title of this post “WE have a timeline” Many of you are aware the difficulties we’ve had trying to find a donor for Nathan; there was no one donor match for our boy in the USA so the Drs put him on the international registry and he tagged 3 immediately all of which did not pan out then with much excitement a new donor, new to the registry even, popped up and gave us a lot of hope, we do not know whether or not he was our match we needed but unfortunately there was a problem(don’t know exactly what) but this particular donor could not donate for one year, and that just don’t fit in our timeline…we’ve had a back up plan through this and that’s exactly where we are going to go…When we all typed to check our match with Nathan his Dad came up as a possibility, through more testing and typing his markers are high enough with being 1/2 of Nathan’s biological genetic make-up that we can use him as the donor; so YES I”M SAYING WE HAVE OUR DONOR; the Drs where truly hoping to find that 10/10 match for Nathan but that just didn’t happen in our case…we are extremely excited but also nervous and definitely scared as a bone marrow transplant (BMT) is no easy task for anyone let alone a child whose body and organs have been through the wringer not 1x but 2x with osteosarcoma (bone cancer) and then adding to it, his maintenance chemo’s are taking their toll as well. There will be a lot of testing going on with my family between Nathan having/needing more tests, particularly organs and another bone marrow biopsy (BMB) and his father needing a lot of tests to donate as well..please keep them both close in prayers as they prep for this, as you can expect this adds to the nervousness of the situation; although over joyed/estatic to be able to be his donor, this I can imagine is also some added nervousness/pressure for Dad…I will have 2 of my most cherished hearts going at one time…

Thank you to all for the thoughts and prayers…

God bless!!!!

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Chemo; A love hate relationship

Chemo chemo and more chemo…

Nathan is on another MAP some the same just a bit tweeked and more added in…Nathans cancer cells are not responding the way the Drs would like and they cannot do high dose chemo like he needs for fear his organs will react and transplant will eithet be seriously delayed or not happen. Nathans organs took a serious hit with his last battle with osteosarcoma, creating a very difficult decision at that time and having to stop treatment to kill the cancer to save his organs from shut down and failure. It’s been 4 1/2 yrs since that and although Nathans organ have recovered and are functioning they are damaged and that remains a problem and serious concern. Blood counts remain low in the neutrapenic levels already with transfusions of necessity on board to maintain, his white cells continue to drop but cannot at this time be rebooted due to feeding the cancer cells and encouraging growth and strengthening and we do not want that to happen, we are in that time of the mask again and carefully monitoring visitors. 

The bone marrow biopsies continue to show rare and aggresive flags that are and will make this battle more difficult for Nathan. We have had several donors pop up out of the country none yet being able to use for Nathan and awaiting one the last(on the list) donor match results now; this donor has already sparked a special place of hope for us though, as he just popped up suddenly; as we where hearing about the results from the last this new donor just showed up,  meaning he’s a new registrant on the donor list and matched up with Nathan: as the Drs where saying this just don’t happen, and has never happened to them prior. I believe in fate and my faith is strong and we need a perfect match from a donor to continue to transplant with the least amount of risk and relapse for Nathan as he already has too many odds stacked against him…although I have a good feeling about it I’m not getting my hopes up to be let down again I will continue to pray.

 Nathan is hanging in there and doing his best to be himself, after a red bag transfusion last week and a beautiful weekend we where able to get him out and about to enjoy some of that sunshine and fresh air. Nathans happy time is gaming online with a great friend he met in his new school the 2 of them crack me up listening to them as the FaceTime anf play online the house is full of laughter from both boys, I absolutely love listening to it. 

Nathan has a special day coming up in which we are totally grateful for…his 16th birthday is on Monday; not exactly what we had in mind for him with way of celebration but we have him with us and for that we are eternally grateful; Nathan has spent a many of birthdays(6yrs) in this situation fighting cancer and getting chemo and although he hates it all he totally knows it’s what needs to be done,  his Drs are trying to work it out that even though he has to have his chemo that day it can still be a special day for him too, but we know very well that we wont know that till the day comes as his counts are very low and welp they trump our situation so it makes it VERY DIFFICULT to make celebration plans as we hoped for.

We want to thank everyone who keeps Nathan and our family in thought and prayer as I’ve known from prior experiences and feel it again there are honestly days we ride solely on those prayers…

Thank you and God Bless!

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Maintenance Chemo

As many know Nathan has been on a maintenance chemo schedule with hopes to halt the growth and progression of his cancer. The first was infused through an LP procedure and then he went onto chemo injections that he had to go to the hospital everyday for which consisted of 3 injections of chemo each time and then onto the chemo administered at home every day…he did well with these all considering what he’s experienced in the past, the big problems is chills, fatigue, nausea, and of course his blood counts. He ended last week with a BMB which we shared that there was no new growth/maturing in Nathan’s cancer cells and YES that’s fantastic news but in the same breath Nathans cancer cells did not decrease in % at all they stayed the same, the Drs where hoping to see a decrease to benefit/aide Nathan in this battle. As I explained before there are many Drs involved in conference with Nathan’s case as it’s not common, but pretty rare…concerns are high in controlling it still and Nathan will be going back onto more rounds of chemo, with added meds/chemo’s everyone was hoping that by now Nathan would be in the transplant process. The added meds are still being determined as the results we have now are only preliminary results and Drs are waiting for the actual full results before making any decisions. Nathan’s body has been through a lot of chemo’s in these last 6yrs, and not just regular doses but HIGH DOSES of chemo’s and his organs took some major hardship during his second battle with osteosarcoma, that we have to be aware and cautious of that while treating in this maintenance course; if things are to hard they can create organ failure and Nathan’s transplant will be put off. We cannot emphasize enough how badly he NEEDS this transplant it is his only chance of beating this.

As far as the donors are concerned…Nathan did not match anyone in the states(other then his dad being a partial), they had to reach out to the international registry for him and found 3 matches, the 1st donor who is going through all the process is still on the possible list, 2nd donor is not on the registry any more so he’s out and the 3rd has responded and is going through the process of testing now, once his results come back the Drs can make a better decision as to where to go from here.

Nathan is hanging in there he has good/bad days and days of just being here feeling like junk, his nausea has been a bugger these last days and that creates another problem for him; eating, Nathan needs to keep eating to maintain and prepare for transplant,as he goes through that process his body will be put to extreme limits and he will need a lot of strength before hand to push through it all. Although we are anxious to get our boy into transplant to save him we are not anxious about it at all with what he will endure, it will be a very trying and difficult time/experience, and it honestly totally scares the hell out of us.

I cannot deny I’ve been a bad about pushing him to do his school work as i honestly sit and look at him and think i just can’t make that fight right now, I just want to enjoy his company and laughs while he’s in the mood, so yes he’s gotten behind a bit and those that know me…that is not a thing I ever let happen but one thing I know is every laugh I share with him through these days of worry and concern along with much fear is vital, not only for me but for Nathan as well.

We will have another meeting later this week and find out our new direction with this all, I ask you all to please keep Nathan and my family in your prayers…

Thank you and God bless!!!

 

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Little updates from our week…

1/25/2017…This week Nathan started his maintenance chemo to keep the cancer cells under control, he’s had to report to the oncology clinic every day this week to receive his chemo injections…it ended up that it wasn’t just one Chemo injection a day it’s 3, so far this week he’s received 9 chemo injections with 6 more to go ending on Friday then he starts an oral chemo…These injections have not been a joy at all to him as he already had body aches and these cause bad muscle pain, nausea, fatigue, min. hair effects, and low counts.  After receiving his shots yesterday in his legs he broke out with sight rashes and with bad itching…can I tell ya hes about beat…As a parent who has to watch and stand by this all, convince your child he wants to get up, travel and receive more chemo (injections) that will make him feel worse just sux because neither one of us wants to be doing this BUT you have too :/ It’s draining!!!

1/29/2017…Yesterday, Nathan started a new maintenance chemo after receiving total of 15 chemo injections last week of the first…It appears there has been slight change in his cellular growth but not enough to change his present status, Thank you Lord!!! I cannot express how important it is to keep this controlled for Nathan and his transplant. This new chemo is not a pleasant one either , it is in low dose but that don’t stop the ill junky feelings you get from it at all. Nathan is loosing weight already, not that he can afford it to begin with as he just leveled off from all his unfortunate events last year but the way I understand it is it’s not his fault it’s from his body trying to deal with the cancer, the cancer is in his blood and marrow and with his body trying to respond it’s using all his calories he’s eating so we’ve had to add to his diet with supplements to add more calories, needless to say he’s not thrilled but he has a amazing dietitian who knows how to work with kids in a way they can handle it, as much as it’s possible anyways, then you add his stomach issue he has already to this all and…well nothing, you can’t do anything; you just have to hang on.

~~Summary of this new diagnosis battle/where we are~~

It’s been almost 2mos now of all this going on… To come out with a secondary cancer for my son; a 2x fighter of OS with “spots” in his lungs and it’s caused by the chemo treatments…as of last marrow biopsies he was still t-MDS.

Today was the first time I was going over my sons medical with another medical professional and had to say he has leukemia…this is so un frekin believable I am just sickened, honestly i’m not sure what I am just have that numb feeling about me again… A second cancer caused by his first and second cancer treatments with osteosarcoma… he started on chemo 2wks ago with an infusion through his LP and then onto a maintenance plan to try and control the cell growth trying to keep it in the MDS stage and prevent the t_AML; they where able to track the chemos that caused it to 2 of those that were used in his treatments 1 from his original MAP and 1 from the relapse in his lungs; so of course it can’t just stop there those flags have shown his t-MDS to be very rare and yup it continues…very aggressive! There has been cell growth since all the findings and he gets bone marrow biopsies pretty regularly now to track it.

My family all tested to be a match and our older son was not nor was I but Dad is a good back up donor; they found 3 perfect matched in the National Registry and only 1 has responded to start the process and all are out of the country to boot…He’s getting a big genetic work up to try and at least see if he’s pre-dispositioned for this or if it’s all just another bad deck of cards being delt.

So as we’re signing away for our now 15yr old son to get back into chemo what are we reading??? YES it carries a risk for yet ANOTHER cancer (lymphoma) oh AND it can kick in his OS: oh of course its “RARE” but he has fallen into that 3rd column endlessly, why should we not be really concerned?! GOOD GRIEF!!!!! So until we can get his transplant on schedule we do maintenance chemo’s with hopes to control this damn stuff…My son at age 9 dx with OS relapse at 12 with metastaic bi-lateral lung and now 15 with leukemia(T-MDS)…Silver lining????? it’s not full blown t-AML…things seriously need to change 🙁

Thank you everyone for all your great words of encouragement and prayers, please keep them coming, we need a donor match, a full match to give Nathan the best possible chance of beating this…

Mom <3

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LAP 3 – MDS (premature leukemia)

After a very long month of not feeling well and many concerns with very low blood counts, we sadly share that Nathan has a type of leukemia… MDS is a type of leukemia that is considered immature cells, Nathan’s treatment will basically consist of the same treatment though and he has a much better chance of kicking it’s butt; the treatment plan will consist of very intense chemo administered over days and then into the transplant process. Time is VERY CRUCIAL for Nathan with this, if things take too long, Nathan’s MDS cells can and will turn into full blown AML and that will make a difference in treatment and hardship through the fight. This diagnosis has come from his treatments needed for his osteosarcoma, his chemo’s; that is a risk taken to fight cancer and many other things that involve breaking down the bodies defenses.
We’ve talked to Nathan’s Dr’s and are confident the plan is a good one and gives Nathan a great chance of kicking cancers ass again. The team is close to Nathan already knows a lot about him and that will help him along the way.
Nathan is aware and as of now is handling it pretty well, he is scared, concerned, and very nervous, BUT there is a light at the end of his tunnel still and that hope alone will give him strength. Nathan has been included in all of this and kinda had a feeling it was going in this direction so he sorta expected it when we talked. Nathan has just entered into a new school this year and has truly enjoyed the experience and had made some great friends, he naturally won’t be back the rest of the year but the connection continues and is fantastic for him, as the last 2 battles he’s been through he really has not had “friend” support, so that alone will be a great benefit to him as well.

Nathan has been fighting for just over 6 yrs now between his original diagnosis of osteosarcoma; fighting it twice – to all the surgeries and complications. He’s had tons of chemo, many surgeries, side effects and this just tops it all; his treatment has made him sick: AGAIN. What do you do when your faced with a decision at the time look at the risks in the future or treat and deal with the here and the now…you treat and deal with the here and the now or you have no future to worry about. We and Nathan have no regrets of his treatment options, we are hurt, frustrated, scared and any and all you can imagine and more BUT he’s here, he may be going back into the fight but he’s here to fight and determined to kick butt; AGAIN!!

So many ask what can we do/how can we help…you can help by keeping Nathan and my family in prayers please and you can make a great difference by registering to be a match for marrow donors at:

BE THE MATCH

All it takes is a cheek swab to get in and a little information about yourself.

Please keep Nathan and my family lifted up in prayers…we will conquer but won’t be without a challenge!

Thank you so very much…

God Bless,

Kim

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Mixed Day of Emotions; Thanksgiving…

As we enter in the Thanksgiving day, please remember childhood cancer knows no boundaries; it does not focus on any one particular types of person, no matter who or where you come from it exists and as families are hearing those word that no one wants to hear, life keeps on going; it does not stop whether it be for the holiday seasons or summer time, birthdays, and/or any celebration…Tomorrow on Thanksgiving day we will awake to a day that 6yrs ago we thought would be the beginning to an end; little did we know at that time what we where really in for, always looking for the silver lining this was not it. Thanksgiving day in 2010 was not only a very scary day for my family but the beginning of everlasting it seems. Nathan was admitted in the hospital on Nov. 18, 2010 with a diagnosis of osteosarcoma, within a 24hr period he’d withstand every test known to see how badly the cancer had spread throughout his little body; we stayed in patient through this whole process(2 weeks) including waiting for the results from his biopsy to confirm the already known fear, but we could not proceed without the exclamation point on it from pathology, all the while learning what was going to happen and teaching him how NOT to walk on his leg to protect it from any risk of fracture or breaking. News came in and chemo was due to start on Thanksgiving day…we felt this is the perfect time to start; WHAT BETTER DAY TO THANKFUL FOR; “A BEGINNING TO AN END”! Little did we know, it wasn’t going to end up like that, Nathan’s cancer will haunt him for the rest of his life BUT to my point…As we are all enjoying our time with family and friends and being grateful and thankful there are many who are facing some of the most difficult days of their lives, no matter what it may be specifically…those people, children, and families could surely use your great thoughts, an add in to your prayer around your dinner table, and a simple thought of positiveness and hope…please remember as it is such a beautiful day of being together for so many it’s also a day of fear and sorrow for others as well, be truly thankful and grateful for what you have and those moments…PLEASE KEEP ALL AND EVERYONE IN THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS!!!

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Broken Hearts and Tears of Children

alex While you see so many children with smiles on their faces there are many more you may not see… These are the children of the childhood cancer world, yes that’s right children get cancer too, and at to high of a rate at that.

Childhood cancer come in many different sub-types, it’s not just one disease…they get all the cancers adults get and some that adults don’t. The bodies of children inside and out are not fully developed yet, so as you can imagine chemo does unbelievable things to our children’s bodies inside and out. We see and hear all about the adult world as it’s discussed and talked about on a regular basis, but what people don’t like to talk about or discuss is children suffering, yes I said suffering, not only are the treatments they receive decades old and made specifically for adults and administered at high doses, but these tiny little humans are trying to grow both mentally and physically and these adult based chemo in high dose forms to try and take a lot of that away from our children, let alone everything else it does…BUT what many-many folks don’t realize again is that these beautiful children fighting to survive and to have somewhat of a decent life afterwards is they do a lot of growing up in the hospital(s) and cannot attend school because of their particular delicate situation(s). The friends and playmates they make are also children in delicate/difficult situations as well. The bonds between these children become very tight, they share moments, stories, dreams and encourage each other through hard times; they are some of the most bravest and strongest people I know. We/they all become one very close tight nit family/community, we share tears, shoulders, struggles, and yes at times we can find laughter.

Nathan has been in this world now for just about 6years and throught these years he has like many of the children met and grown very fond of many of the children that share his delicate life, they may not all share the same diagnosis but that don’t stop them from understanding and bonding. We have met so many families from all walks of life and Nathan being out of school for so long and away from so many has become very close to these children/families he shares so much with and they have filled voids in his life that may not have been created if he was not diagnosed with cancer, they have become his friends, close friends; along the way and in all this he has also had to say “goodnight” to many…Yes there again another world our children who are diagnosed with cancer have to endure that maybe they would not as much if there was a change and a huge difference in how they are treated with cancer… Part of getting the children through recovery is to keep their stress levels at a minimum, you they have toxic chemicals, can’t go to school, cannot be a regular actuve child, lives primarly in a hospital and the list goes on…we are to keep the stress level at a minimum..UM YEAH NOPE! This past week we, the childhood cancer community have lost yet another young life to cancer; this young man battled 3 different types of cancer, being diagnosed lastly with a terminal brain tumor; this young man has been along with us from the start for the most part, Alex was the first we met, that was diagnosed with the same type of cancer as Nathan, osteosarcoma; bone cancer. In our first meeting his words of encouragement he offered not only to Nathan but to me, an adult, were just so uplifting and encouraging that I will never forget that day, all while Nathan was dealing with his wonderful side effects of his steroids he needed to take his chemo, but as it was, Alex paid no mind to that; he said no worries that happens to us all; we all go through it, its part of the course.(unacceptable world for children) All week long I struggled to tell Nathan, as he has his own struggles going on as well and Drs cannot express enough just how imporatan it is to keep his stress at a very minimal very low level…feeling horribly, I decided not to share just yet as Nathan had an event coming up that he was invited to attend as a HERO, a hero: a child fighting, who has fought cancer, anyways he needed this desperately, I found myself extending sympathy and apologies all at once to the mother/a friend of the young man, who was laying her beautiful son to rest the same day. Our day went off beautifully for Nathan, all the while I was just agonizing if I did the right thing, with a very heavy heart and mind I participated in the day along side of my son who was just in his glory with the outcome of his experience, thinking of this young man and his family and all attending his services at the same time; I wept many times through out the day, I wept in pain and in joy, it was a emotional struggle, you see the event was for another little boy who is also fighting cancer and has quite a ways to go yet to be done with his treatments and who will as the parents just found out, spend the rest of his life fearing another diagnosis of another cancer due to a genetic disorder. Nathan understands all too well and too much for being 15, so does all the other children who are put into these situations. This morning as I knew in my heart I could not hold it any longer I explained to Nathan the loss of Alex, the whole week and why I waited…in return my son who understands beceause we’ve been here too many times before, got angry, very angry with emotion and expressed to me that this would not happen if people, those people who could truly do something listened and trey cared enough to do it, angry that there is so little done to help make this NOT happen, so very little known to the general public that CHILDREN GET CANCER TOO and to top it off he just can’t comprehend how little the children mean to the world…

THESE ARE THE TEARS, FEARS, AND THE BROKEN HEARTS OF OUR CHILDREN FIGHTING CANCER; THINGS NEED TO CHANGE!

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