Mixed Day of Emotions; Thanksgiving…

As we enter in the Thanksgiving day, please remember childhood cancer knows no boundaries; it does not focus on any one particular types of person, no matter who or where you come from it exists and as families are hearing those word that no one wants to hear, life keeps on going; it does not stop whether it be for the holiday seasons or summer time, birthdays, and/or any celebration…Tomorrow on Thanksgiving day we will awake to a day that 6yrs ago we thought would be the beginning to an end; little did we know at that time what we where really in for, always looking for the silver lining this was not it. Thanksgiving day in 2010 was not only a very scary day for my family but the beginning of everlasting it seems. Nathan was admitted in the hospital on Nov. 18, 2010 with a diagnosis of osteosarcoma, within a 24hr period he’d withstand every test known to see how badly the cancer had spread throughout his little body; we stayed in patient through this whole process(2 weeks) including waiting for the results from his biopsy to confirm the already known fear, but we could not proceed without the exclamation point on it from pathology, all the while learning what was going to happen and teaching him how NOT to walk on his leg to protect it from any risk of fracture or breaking. News came in and chemo was due to start on Thanksgiving day…we felt this is the perfect time to start; WHAT BETTER DAY TO THANKFUL FOR; “A BEGINNING TO AN END”! Little did we know, it wasn’t going to end up like that, Nathan’s cancer will haunt him for the rest of his life BUT to my point…As we are all enjoying our time with family and friends and being grateful and thankful there are many who are facing some of the most difficult days of their lives, no matter what it may be specifically…those people, children, and families could surely use your great thoughts, an add in to your prayer around your dinner table, and a simple thought of positiveness and hope…please remember as it is such a beautiful day of being together for so many it’s also a day of fear and sorrow for others as well, be truly thankful and grateful for what you have and those moments…PLEASE KEEP ALL AND EVERYONE IN THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS!!!


Broken Hearts and Tears of Children

alex While you see so many children with smiles on their faces there are many more you may not see… These are the children of the childhood cancer world, yes that’s right children get cancer too, and at to high of a rate at that.

Childhood cancer come in many different sub-types, it’s not just one disease…they get all the cancers adults get and some that adults don’t. The bodies of children inside and out are not fully developed yet, so as you can imagine chemo does unbelievable things to our children’s bodies inside and out. We see and hear all about the adult world as it’s discussed and talked about on a regular basis, but what people don’t like to talk about or discuss is children suffering, yes I said suffering, not only are the treatments they receive decades old and made specifically for adults and administered at high doses, but these tiny little humans are trying to grow both mentally and physically and these adult based chemo in high dose forms to try and take a lot of that away from our children, let alone everything else it does…BUT what many-many folks don’t realize again is that these beautiful children fighting to survive and to have somewhat of a decent life afterwards is they do a lot of growing up in the hospital(s) and cannot attend school because of their particular delicate situation(s). The friends and playmates they make are also children in delicate/difficult situations as well. The bonds between these children become very tight, they share moments, stories, dreams and encourage each other through hard times; they are some of the most bravest and strongest people I know. We/they all become one very close tight nit family/community, we share tears, shoulders, struggles, and yes at times we can find laughter.

Nathan has been in this world now for just about 6years and throught these years he has like many of the children met and grown very fond of many of the children that share his delicate life, they may not all share the same diagnosis but that don’t stop them from understanding and bonding. We have met so many families from all walks of life and Nathan being out of school for so long and away from so many has become very close to these children/families he shares so much with and they have filled voids in his life that may not have been created if he was not diagnosed with cancer, they have become his friends, close friends; along the way and in all this he has also had to say “goodnight” to many…Yes there again another world our children who are diagnosed with cancer have to endure that maybe they would not as much if there was a change and a huge difference in how they are treated with cancer… Part of getting the children through recovery is to keep their stress levels at a minimum, you they have toxic chemicals, can’t go to school, cannot be a regular actuve child, lives primarly in a hospital and the list goes on…we are to keep the stress level at a minimum..UM YEAH NOPE! This past week we, the childhood cancer community have lost yet another young life to cancer; this young man battled 3 different types of cancer, being diagnosed lastly with a terminal brain tumor; this young man has been along with us from the start for the most part, Alex was the first we met, that was diagnosed with the same type of cancer as Nathan, osteosarcoma; bone cancer. In our first meeting his words of encouragement he offered not only to Nathan but to me, an adult, were just so uplifting and encouraging that I will never forget that day, all while Nathan was dealing with his wonderful side effects of his steroids he needed to take his chemo, but as it was, Alex paid no mind to that; he said no worries that happens to us all; we all go through it, its part of the course.(unacceptable world for children) All week long I struggled to tell Nathan, as he has his own struggles going on as well and Drs cannot express enough just how imporatan it is to keep his stress at a very minimal very low level…feeling horribly, I decided not to share just yet as Nathan had an event coming up that he was invited to attend as a HERO, a hero: a child fighting, who has fought cancer, anyways he needed this desperately, I found myself extending sympathy and apologies all at once to the mother/a friend of the young man, who was laying her beautiful son to rest the same day. Our day went off beautifully for Nathan, all the while I was just agonizing if I did the right thing, with a very heavy heart and mind I participated in the day along side of my son who was just in his glory with the outcome of his experience, thinking of this young man and his family and all attending his services at the same time; I wept many times through out the day, I wept in pain and in joy, it was a emotional struggle, you see the event was for another little boy who is also fighting cancer and has quite a ways to go yet to be done with his treatments and who will as the parents just found out, spend the rest of his life fearing another diagnosis of another cancer due to a genetic disorder. Nathan understands all too well and too much for being 15, so does all the other children who are put into these situations. This morning as I knew in my heart I could not hold it any longer I explained to Nathan the loss of Alex, the whole week and why I waited…in return my son who understands beceause we’ve been here too many times before, got angry, very angry with emotion and expressed to me that this would not happen if people, those people who could truly do something listened and trey cared enough to do it, angry that there is so little done to help make this NOT happen, so very little known to the general public that CHILDREN GET CANCER TOO and to top it off he just can’t comprehend how little the children mean to the world…