It’s not fair to you or any other child and family having to go through this, childhood cancer is a relentless disease and what it steals form the child is something that can never be regained back, and what childhood cancer stole from your friends and us, your family; your parents and your older brother is absolutely devastating and cruel. You left us for a better place, to gain a new body and become whole again. I do not consider this loosing to cancer I consider this as you winning eternal freedom and glory; although we suffer and hurt deeply from your loss, I find a piece of comfort knowing that your not suffering and that you didn’t. What you didn’t have a chance to learn as didn’t many others either is, Thursday night Jan. 4th I spoke with your Dr. and learned from your BMB that you had been diagnosed with full t-AML, a third cancer that again had no treatment for you but plan C and that was to only calm it from exploding throughout your body to help ease things, but t-AML after going through osteosarcoma 2x and t-MDS 2x with a BMT would have been unforgiving, and for that I am grateful God spared you from all that but non the less I, WE ALL miss you horribly, every second, minute, and hour of every day.

Today February 27, 2018 I will celebrate your birthday as I know you would want, this is  the day God gave you to me, although for a short time, it was a time of much joy and beautiful memories; a time I’ll/we’ll never forget, a time yet again God answered my prayers, a prayer for another child. I couldn’t have done all this without God by my side and many will wonder how I can feel that way with all you went through and then loosing you, but if many knew the truth that I was to have no more children when I did have you they may understand a bit better what a true miracle you were from the very beginning. I will/am shed many tears and many will flow like the many falls we hiked to, but I know in my heart you are free and in the land of the unimaginable, whole, not sick and complete again; you are alive in my heart and mind and with me in everything I do. I can feel the peace you have at last and all your dreams and desires to make a difference and be there for other children and families, it will all continue to get carried on, you created a legacy Nathan and I promise you, everything you went through and endured will not be in vein; there are many things to be learned from whether it be medically, personally, humanity, and/or just life; many will learn and grow from you as a person, there will forever be “Nathans Story”.

Forever 16, I love you my son… We WILL be together again <3

I will Never Give UP !    #13  #RIPmyultimatewarrior

HAPPY BIRTHDAY